So Close, So Far...

Monday was my first official day of training for the 2014 Boston Marathon. It's been a rough process getting back up to speed, and I'm still not where I want to be. I took a long break this summer - well over two months - and I am reminded that there is nothing more frustrating than suffering through workouts I know I can run much faster and more comfortably. My three-mile runs seem to stretch on into eternity, and the thought of running eight, let alone 26, makes me want to curl up in the fetal position.

I haven't posted about my students in a long time, but I have been thinking about them every day that I have been out on the pavement this month. I realized that it has become easy for me to try to placate students who have had a barrier come up that will set them back a year. Maybe the scholarship money didn't come through. Maybe they weren't accepted to their program of choice. Maybe their citizenship paperwork has been inexplicably held up for the fourth time. How many times have I told students that taking a year to go to community college, or another one of the institutions to which they were accepted, is not the worst thing in the world? That they can do their best academically this year and apply again when the circumstances will allow them to?

Just after the marathon, I wasn't focused on what it would take to get me back to the starting line; I just knew that nothing could keep me from running Boston in 2014. I can't even tell you how many times I've said "half a mile" in the last six months, talking about how close I was to the finish line. Today, like many of my disheartened students, I feel farther away than ever. I will log 587.7 miles before I finally get my opportunity to finish that last half-mile. Now there are days where all I can think about are the long, cold Saturday mornings ahead of me. The ice in my hair. The miles run with numb toes. The hours spent shivering on the couch, nursing depleted muscles.

Having been through all this before, however, I know that the highs are just as frequent as the lows. I've found a mantra that's been working for me so far: "Patience. Discipline." The speed and ease that I was able to run with this spring will come back to me. All I have to do is the same thing I did last year: get out of bed every morning and put in the slow, cold, wheezy miles. I've been thinking those two words very. hard. these past few sub-freezing mornings. This is the sentiment I need to bottle for when my students need it most. Working your hardest for another full year before reaching your goal is a definite setback, but one that promises to make you stronger than ever.